548641

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kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails

(via polaroid-pictures)

6826

phantomdoodler:

"what would you do if you won the lottery?"

image

(via yourcasualvacancy)

1686

218532

ltalian:

that’s exactly what someone who’s dating their dad would say

203050

121118

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails

(via yourcasualvacancy)

63391

eoreu:

Patrick Leblanc’s vertical gardens are so lovely I could cry

167082

211052

rnackenzie:

1 note? guess my kids arent eating tonight

(via indsie)

1829

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modestmgmtofficial:

everything’s so funny when u use the wrong measurement:

  • 5 gallons of homework
  • mouthful of lint
  • 20 degrees of facial oil
  • 7 pints of china
  • handful of fergi
  • 60 mph of dad

(via voidminho)

220106

snapchatting:

what is flirting it sounds dangerous

(via indsie)

340594

fuckingconversations:

wishuponawish:

hookandthedaggersxvx:

Virginity only matters if you’re lighting the black flame candle to summon witches.

Actually, When people talk about “blood of a virgin”, what’s actually meant is “virgin blood”, aka blood that’s never before been used in a ritual.

Therefore, virginity doesn’t matter for anything.

*noises of comprehension and frustration that I didn’t make that connection before*

(via jodyleethebumblebee)

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